Joel Klebanoff: Stuff & Nonsense

To worry is to be. To be is to worry.

Archive for the ‘religion’ Category

Insanely Religious —

On September 4, 2012, when the results came in after the last provincial election in Québec, a man went to the Parti Québecois victory party, shot two people, killed one person, and set a fire before leaving the scene. He was charged with murder, three attempted murders, arson and a few other things. There might [...]

God: Underachiever —

Admittedly, the following vastly oversimplifies the science but, as I understand it, the earth’s landmasses are floating tectonic plates. As those plates rub up against each other, or one slides under another, friction initially holds them in place. Eventually, after sufficient pressure builds up, energy is released as the earth shutters shudders when the plates [...]

Body of Christ —

I’m ethnically Jewish and religiously atheist, so I probably shouldn’t comment on this, but I will anyway. I’ve always thought that Christians missed a good bet with their communion wafers. They should make the wafers out of extremely high fiber ingredients. That way, Christians, at least those Christian sects that believe in such things, could [...]

Religious Sex —

Many particularly pious people in a few religions proclaim that you should have sex only for the purpose of procreation. (Damn! I wish Peter Piper was a particularly pious person so I could carry the alliteration farther. And if a pickle was a euphemism for something else I could really run with it.) Furthermore, according [...]

Spamming for Dollars —

I hate spammers. I despise their penis-enlarging, breast-firming, diet-accelerating claptrap that overloads my email inbox. These cankers of electronic communications pollute the Internet with their effluvia. But even more than I hate spammers, I hate the incredibly stupid people who fall victim to them. I know it’s politically incorrect to call people stupid, but screw [...]