Religious Sex
Many particularly pious people in a few religions proclaim that you should have sex only for the purpose of procreation. (Damn! I wish Peter Piper was a particularly pious person so I could carry the alliteration farther. And if a pickle was a euphemism for something else I could really run with it.)
Furthermore, according to the pious people, you should have sex only when you are married and with only the person you are married to. Sex under any other conditions is, they say, sinful.
So here’s my question: In the exceptionally unlikely event that there is a god and if he, she or it really does want us to restrict sex to procreation purposes, why did he, she or it make it so enjoyable?
Don’t you think a god who wanted to impose those restrictions on sex would make it extremely unpleasant? Really. What does he, she or it get out of making it feel so great? Does he, she or it thrive on the ego boost that comes from hearing his, her or its name screamed out when people climax? I don’t think so. This is supposed to be a god we’re talking about.
After making sex exceptionally unappealing, god could give his, her or its followers an order such as, oh, I don’t know, maybe something along the lines of, “Be fruitful and multiply.” It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
Because they were believers, the faithful would obey even though they didn’t enjoy it. But, because they found it repulsive, they would do it only for the purposes of procreation; only because he, she or it commanded them to do so.
This would also be an perfect way to purify and proliferate the religion.
Think about it. Nonbelievers wouldn’t have sex because they’d hated it. The faithful, on the other hand, despite finding it very unpleasant, would be screwing their brains out, trying to manufacture as many babies as possible in order to fulfill the “be fruitful and multiply” command.
In this way, the believers would, well, multiply, but the other religions and atheists wouldn’t last more than one generation.
It sounds like a Grand Plan to me. You folks better hope that my job application gets turned down because if I get the position of god that’s definitely the way I’m going to run things.
If you get the job of god and make sex unpleasant, believe me, you won’t get worshiped. In fact, you’re going to need bodyguards. I mean that kind of change was all well and good when I was married to my first husband, but, now that I know how wonderful it can be, I’m not going to like that being taken away. You make sex unpleasant, I’m going to have to find you and gun you down.
Just sayin’.
Of course, if I’m god that gun won’t do you any good. I’ll smite you before you can pull the trigger.
It’s nice to hear you’re enjoying sex so much. Thanks for sharing.
If it were truly unpleasant to “be fruitful and multiply” I guess we wouldn’t have the over-population problem we do.
Patricia: There is that to consider. Then again, there is some debate about whether the world really is overpopulated or whether we’re just not using our resources as efficiently as we could be.
And birth rates are declining in most rich countries and developing countries. In fact, in much of the rich world, birth rates are now below the replacement rate (2.1). This is causing a problem because, barring tremendous productivity improvements, at some point there may not be enough working age people to pay for the social services of the elderly in these countries.
The few articles I’ve seen on that usually attribute the decline in birth rates to increased wealth. The theory is that as people move from the farm to the city they don’t need as many children to help them work the fields. And as people become more financially secure they don’t feel the need for as many children to take care of them in their old age.
I don’t know. There might be other explanations. For example, in most of the rich, western world religiosity has been trending down. Maybe, rather than declining birth rates being attributable to increased wealth, it’s a result of fewer people believing that there is a deity that commanded them to be fruitful and multiply. I haven’t seen any studies that suggest that’s the case, so I don’t know. But there is anecdotal evidence for it. There is one rich western country where birth rates haven’t declined as rapidly as in the western world and where the birth rate is still above the replacement rate. I may be misremembering, but I also seem to recall reading that the recent trend in that particular country is actually an increase in the birth rate. That country is also one where the level of religiosity has held up much more strongly than in other rich western nations. That country is the United States.
Hell, why not just make girls that have reached the ripe old age, of say 20, automatically become pregnant? Why go through any motions at all? That way the likes of Jimmy Swaggart, David Koresh and Jim Jones would never have occurred. Can I get a witness?
RedRaider: Why didn’t I think of that? Great idea! Amen!
Maybe you could make it so only ugly people could breed.
Think about it.
Hmm.. The end of the line for the beautiful people. I might even have a chance under those conditions.
Interesting topic. I have no comment about god stuff, but I really love to have sex.
e-djuhaedi: Who doesn’t love sex? And there’s nothing wrong about not having a comment about a non-entity. Thanks
I know ice cream is nowhere near as appealing as sex, but lets’ assume for the moment that it is. You can go out and get your own ice cream, and bring it home and have it any time you please. It’s yours. But, you can’t (or shouldn’t) go over to the neighbor’s house and have some of his ice cream without his knowledge or permission. Nor can you just go to the store and take what you haven’t purchased. I know, you don’t purchase a lover or a spouse, but you do enter into some type of agreement. So, you remain faithful to what is yours because it builds character, honor and integrity, all of which helps us to lead to a more fulfilling life, a life we can be proud of.
Sandra: All I was saying is that if there is a god and if he wanted us to have sex only for procreation he could have designed sex much better than he did. On the other hand, if there is no go and we have to depend on ourselves to keep the species going then we would have had to have evolved pleasurable sex and a sex drive pretty much as we have.
I didn’t wan’t to get into this, but since you brought it up, I think adultery is wrong and anyone who commits it is doing something immoral. However, my reason for thinking that is not that I think that sex is in any way mystical or god-given. And it’s not in any way the sex itself that I think is immoral. My reason for thinking that adultery is wrong is that I think lying is wrong.
Marriage either explicitly or implicitly includes a vow of monogamy. A committed relation that is not marriage may also include that vow. It is that vow that makes adultery wrong, not some god and not the sex itself.
Sex is a physical act. Beyond that it is only what we make of it. If we want to add a committed relationship to it and have that committed relationship take on some extra meaning, then great, but it is us and not some god that is assigning that meaning. Personally I do think that committed relationships enrich lives, notwithstanding the fact that my neuroses and craziness have kept me from committed relationships. (Or maybe I think that way because I haven’t been in many committed relationships that have lasted very long. Maybe I would hate them if I were ever able to get into one.)
That having been said, if, before getting married, a couple explicitly agreed that “our marriage will include this, that, and the other thing, but one thing it definitely won’t include is monogamy,” then in that instance I don’t think there would be anything wrong with adultery. As I said, beyond whatever else we do or do not add to it, sex is just a physical act. It’s the breaking of a commitment that’s wrong, not the sex.
An agreement that a marriage is not going to include monogamy would have to be explicit to excuse either partner from a vow of monogamy. Marriage is generally expected to include that vow (even if the vow is not universally kept). So if there is nothing in the wedding vows at all about monogamy one way or the other then both partners would be justified in assuming it’s in there.
All that having been said, anyone who listens to me about crap like this is a complete idiot because I’ve proven myself to be totally useless at forming relationships. However, if any women reading this find me interesting, my number is … (I’ll willingly provide some ice cream.)
Not only that, Mormons wouldn’t be so damn perky all the time.
Knucklehead!: Which is a good enough reason in itself.
Thinking about starting your own cult?
thinkinfyou: Only if you’d agree to be a loyal follower.
Well I have seen the power of your words before. Like the time you left a comment filled with all the words people used to get to your blog, I now get tons of hits for people looking for your penis.
thinkinfyou: Sorry about that. I have a favor to ask of you. Would you please screen the people visiting your blog looking for my penis and, if they’re attractive, available women, please send them my way. Thanks!
Only for you,Joel!
thinkinfyou: Thanks! Then again, I don’t imagine that it would be too difficult to restrict it to just me. (I was about to say “hard” rather than “difficult” but then I realized that might be misconstrued under the circumstances.) I mean, how many people come to your blog looking for other guys’ penises?
Maybe God needs to reorganize. The sales department wants more members to worship him so they make sex enjoyable. And the production department kicks in and we overpopulate the planet and start creating havoc on the planet he created. Now the legal department and PR departments are trying to figure out how to spin it so God isn’t blamed for the mess we’re in. Let’s blame Allah or Buddha?
Trent: I have a business degree, so all of this sounds about right to me.
I was just starting to believe in god again and he pulls this shit? Hell no! Sex had better be fun what other reason is there to hang around here? Sex is about the only thing worth hoping for at this point in my life (when I can no longer procreate and it is finally worry free). Does this mean I have to get my tubes untied?
Jen: Believe what you want. Do what you want. By the way, are you free Saturday night?
Wow. I’ve got nothing to add but you made me think of a boutique on St. Mark’s Place in NYC called Religious Sex. Lots of crazy, fetishy stuff, rubber, leather, corsets, spikes, platform boots. It closed years ago. Too bad. What a great name. That’s the closest I’m going to get to writing about sex. I’m sorry I can’t contribute anything of relevance here except to say, Amen.
kathcom: I’d never heard of the Religious Sex boutique. I don’t know how the name for this post popped into my head.
What do you mean you have noting to add. You just did. Thanks.
Amen back atcha.
Sex is so enjoyable for the very reasons that you suggest that people should be promiscuous. LOL … even at my age, sex with the right woman is the best thing around and there is no need for more than one. Besides, marriage is much more than sex. For those other things, it works out best if you can be committed and focused on a life together.
grayspirit: Of course, my primary purpose for the post was humor. My statements about sex being enjoyable were, unfortunately, mostly from memory. However, if you know any unattached “right women”, please let me know.
All the best to you and your sex life. Damn, that sounded like a sex therapist on television.
LOL … well it helps that I retired to Asia.
grayspirit: Yes, well, it helps to move somewhere with a different philosophy on life.
You know I’m thinking you’ve just provided Tiger Woods with an out. His defence over all his shenanigans can be he’s extremely religious…and he was spreading the word of God among the cocktail hostess crowd. Yeah, that’s it.
nonamedufus: Tiger who? Is he or she some sort of celebrity? I don’t read the entertainment or sports gossip pages in my newspaper. And when there are any stories on celebrities in the front section, I turn the page.
Sex is the GIFT FROM GOD to make our life on Earth nice and endure/no need to tell more!!!/
nini: Because I’m a devout atheist, I’m having trouble buying your gift from god suggestion.
If we hadn’t evolved in such a way as to have a reason for having sex, we wouldn’t be here discussing this.
I’ve made mention of the fact here that, for a variety of reasons I don’t want to get into, my life has included many unwanted dry spells. Maybe your god is punishing me for being an atheist. If so, would you mind telling him, her or it that I’m not really such a bad guy and sending a few voluptuous women my way would be a nice gesture even though I don’t believe he, she or it exists? Thanks.
I forgive you my son…
e-djuhaedi: Thanks, dad, whoever you are.