Exercise Program
I started a new exercise program a few weeks ago and I’m happy to report that, so far, I’ve been able to stick to it. I don’t want to brag about how strenuous the new program is but, despite not being in all that bad shape for a man my age, I’m breathing hard almost from the start to the finish of my workout.
The biggest benefit of my new exercise routine is that it is incredibly easy to follow. Unfortunately, it does have some drawbacks, including the following:
- Because it involves only heavy breathing, I’m not increasing my fitness level very much.
 - I’m now fighting several harassment lawsuits that have been filed against me.
 - The phone company has threatened to cut off my service if I don’t stop making heavy breathing calls.
Joe you dirty old man. You’re lucky they’ve only threatened to cut off your service! Or is that, like, a euphamism for something?
nonamedufu: No, it wasn’t a euphemism. In fact, I hadn’t even considered that possibility. But now that you’ve planted that image in my mind I’m going to have to walk around doubled over for the next few days.
lol! Well, keep at it, regardless of such obstacles as “the authorities”.
Shawn: Yes, the authorities just hate it when you have a little fun, don’t they?
So are you the one that e-mailed that heavy breathing? You old pervert you.
ettarose: Are you saying that you think being a pervert is a bad thing?
Good Joel, good. Do it while sitting on the toilet. Then if anyone should hear you they’ll understand. Perfectly natural.
RedRaider: Thanks for the advice, although I’m not sure it’s going to let me off the hook.
I’ve been needing some new exercise routines. Maybe you can make an excercise video to sell…or maybe you can conduct some classes as the Y like the yoga people do.
This would raise some money for your legal defense fund.
David: Excellent idea! A heavy breathing exercise video. Why didn’t I think of that? Considering current network television fare, it’s clear people will watch anything.