G Returns
Is it my imagination or do some companies put in extra effort, effort above and beyond the call of duty, to go out of their way to annoy the freaking hell out of potential customers?
If world leaders worked as hard at solving world problems as some companies work at pissing people off there would be no wars or conflicts of any kind, no hate, no poverty, no hunger, and no diseases. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but we’re not there yet.
A few days ago I told you about a customer disservice episode I experienced with a company that, to protect its identity, I simply called “G.”? In that post, I mentioned that because I had already wasted more time than it was worth, I dropped it without G having resolved the issue.
Today, I got an email from G. It started by saying:
“We’ve noticed that your ads still aren’t running on [name deleted to protect identity]. We sent you an email last week with instructions for activating your [name deleted to protect identity] account (we’ve included them below), but we wanted to reach out again and see if you needed any extra help. …”?
After the promised instructions on how to activate my account (instructions that, when I followed them in the past, resulted in G rejecting its promised promotion), the email went on to say:
“If you’d like help, simply reply to this email with your questions or concerns.”?
I must be the most frigging gullible idiot in the world, bar none. I honestly didn’t realize that G was joking. Honestly. I truly believed that G was genuinely extending a hand of friendship and assistance. So I replied to the email.
I attached copies of the email stream from my exchange with “G“?’s “customer service”? “person,”? “William,”? and said that the attached emails explained why I had not yet activated my account. Then I hit the send button.
G was quick with its response. I received an email from G about a minute later. It said the following:
“Thank you for your message. Unfortunately, we are no longer accepting emails sent directly to [email address deleted to protect identity]. …”?
The email then went on to explain how I could get support in the future. The prescribed process was the same process I had followed to get my non-support from “William.”?
What baffles me is why the bounce-back email didn’t also say “GOTCHA!”? Maybe G thought that the original offer of help was so obviously a practical joke that “GOTCHA!”? didn’t need to be said. Is that it?
If this continues, I might get so angry that I’ll finally divulge the identity of this multi-billion dollar company that provides Web-based services, but until then I will continue to fiercely protect its identity and refer to it as simply G.
Categorised as: customer service
Until you finally spill the beans on what G really means, I’ll just assume it’s Gatorade.
C.B. Jones: I’m sorry, but my personal integrity prevents me from either confirming or denying your Gatorade conjecture.
Gee, what is this “G” you speak of?
MadMadMargo: I absolutely refuse to say. You could try searching for the answer, but I would refuse to confirm or deny anything you might think you’ve uncovered.
Wouldn’t happen to kinda rhyme with “bugle” would it?
Just askin’.
DK @ Knucklehead!: I’ll never tell.
I think we have all had some issues with the G you refer to at one time or another. Don’t you wish e-mail had a “reach out and slap someone” button?
ettarose: If you invent an email “reach out and slap someone” button I’d certainly look at buying one. Of course, if I do buy one, you’d better provide me with good customer service.
G willikers are they ever messin’ with ya. Too bad there wasn’t an internet better business bureau or something so you could report them and at least get some satisfaction that you’ve reported their God-awful customer service. I understand your frustration Joel. Next step: Out them.
nonamedufus: Considering how much money G has (not that I’m saying who or what G is), if there were an internet better business bureau, I think G would own it. So what good would it do me?
It must be not the “G” I know, because they never respond. So now I’m curious too.
Unfinished Rambler: “G” is a company, not people, thus the proper pronoun when referring to G is “it,” not “they.” Thus, when you say that the G you know never responds I assume that you are referring to people who work at G. If so, it may be the same G because the latest response definitely came from a computer, not a person, and the earlier responses were written in a way that they could have come from a computer as well. But, because I’m not revealing G‘s identity, you’ll have to remain curious.
You might want to try Y. Just saying.
Marsha: I might, but this all started because G sent me a letter offering me a free trial. Its systems then wouldn’t give me the free trial. I’m skeptical that a service like the one G is offering would be of net benefit to me, but if I can try it for free I’m willing to spend the time to see if I’m wrong. None of G‘s competitors have offered me a similar free trial.
Seriously, Joel, delete the whole email set of trails and pretend they never existed. Perhaps inform your spam filter to file future emails accordingly.
Stephanie Barr: Yes, but what if G, which is an otherwise very reputable company (he said, hoping to get on its good side), eventually recognizes the error of its ways and sends me an email saying that it is prepared to not only honor the credit promised to me in the original promotion, but to quintuple it to make up for all of the aggravation I suffered … all I have to do is log into my account and activate it. If I set my spam filter to block G‘s emails I’ll never get to take advantage of that rather valuable credit because I’ll never log into my account, which is not yet activated.
Then again, the probability of that happening is likely somewhere in the neighborhood of 0.000000000000000000000000001, so your suggested approach may be the most advisable one when evaluated using expected value theory.