Imagine if, after all the millennia plagued with genocides, wars, terrorist acts, murders, rapes, tortures, pillages, arsons, muggings, beatings, thefts, intolerances and other crimes against humanity or individuals, the entire human population finally came together and united in, as the song says, a brotherhood of man. Where the hell would we hold such a gathering? I’m definitely not offering my living room. We’re talking about more than 6.7 billion people, many of whom will insist on bringing their pets. Who would cater such an affair? How could we rent enough portapotties? And who’d take care of all of our stuff while we’re all away?

Even if we could overcome these difficulties, don’t you just know that, if we did all come together in a celebration of the brotherhood of man, some jerk would take the opportunity to beat the crap out of some other jerk who, five years prior, made an offhand remark about the beater’s fashion sense. And someone else would shoot the person who dared to call it a “brotherhood” rather than a “siblinghood” of “man” rather than “people.” Oh wait, that latter one already happened. We are so totally screwed.