In a previous post I began debunking some of the myths and stereotypes that people from other countries believe about Canada, my home and native land, and about Canadians. I continue the debunking below.

Myth: Canadians are lazy, especially compared to our American neighbors.

Fact: We prefer to think of ourselves as ambition-challenged. That description is less derogatory than “lazy” and it qualifies us for disability compensation payments from the government.

Myth: Canadians say “oot and aboot” rather than “out and about.”

Fact: Not true. We frequently say “fuckin’ eh,” but I’ve never heard any of my fellow Canadians say “oot and aboot.” Please don’t ask me to explain the phrase “fuckin’ eh.” It loses something in the translation.

Myth: Snowmobiles are the primary form of transportation in Canada.

Fact: No, that would be dog sleds. Only rich Canadians own snowmobiles.

Myth: The Canadian military is weak.

Fact: I don’t know how this myth got started. It is untrue and grossly insulting. Our soldier works out at the gym every day and he has no problem bench-pressing 300 pounds. On weekends, evenings, holidays and while he’s on vacation he carries a pager so he can spring into action should a problem requiring military attention arise.

Myth: Despite having the second-largest landmass of any country on the planet, all of Canada is nothing more than a frozen wasteland.

Fact: I can’t believe that there are people who actually believe this nonsense, but, apparently, there are. What a load of bull crap! The west coast of Canada has a more moderate climate than the rest of the country. Some of the wasteland out there thaws for a couple of months each year.

Myth: Canadians consider themselves to be superior to and act condescendingly toward Americans.

Fact: Many Americans resent this alleged attitude, but there is no reason for them to take offense because, in general, that’s not the way Canadians feel about or act toward Americans. We consider ourselves superior to and patronize only Republicans. We’re OK with Democrats. In fact, had he wanted to, after finishing his second term as President, Bill Clinton could have run for and won an election to the post of Prime Minister of Canada for Life. Barack Obama might want to think about that as a retirement option after finishing his two terms.

There are many more myths in need of debunking, but they will have to wait for another time.