People ask why they should buy my book, BYTE-ing Satire: A light-hearted poke in technology’s eye. Here are the top 10 reasons.

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1. My mother thinks it’s funny. She wouldn’t lie about something like that.

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2. I have three friends who think it’s funny. That makes the appraisal unanimous among my friends.

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3. My editor thought it was so good that she actually paid for a couple of copies to give as gifts. Then again, I mentioned her prominently in the acknowledgments, which might have influenced her purchase.
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4. BYTE-ing Satire is user-friendly, employs an intuitive interface and does not require batteries or an electrical connection. What’s more, you don’t need an owner’s manual to figure out how to use it.
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5. Unlike a cell phone or pager, nobody will ask you to silence it if you carry it with you into a cinema or a swank restaurant. You might, however, be asked to stifle your laughter.
   
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6. It is easier to take it rather than, say, a giraffe with you on a camping trip or to the beach.
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7. In most locations, buying BYTE-ing Satire costs significantly less than hiring a professional to give you a high colonic. Heck, the last time I checked, Amazon was selling it (my book, not the high colonic) at a discount off list price. And reading my book is much more enjoyable than getting a high colonic.
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8. The humorous essays in the book are short enough to be read while taking a crap, assuming, of course, that the high colonic that you foolishly wasted your money on doesn’t accelerate your bowel movements too much.
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9. I have my faults, but I’m basically a nice guy. Being a nice guy hasn’t helped me to get dates, but that shouldn’t affect your decision to buy my book.
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10. If the inventory of printed copies of BYTE-ing Satire doesn’t sell-out, my publisher will eventually be forced to ship the unsold copies to the dump. There they will join a mass of rotting garbage. This will speed the process of decay of the paper in the discarded copies, which will release greenhouse gasses into the atmosphere. This will raise the average temperature on earth, which will, in turn, melt the polar ice caps, thereby inundating many heavily populated coastal cities. The death and destruction will, undoubtedly, be horrific. And it will be all your fault for not buying a copy of BYTE-ing Satire or, better yet, several copies to give as gifts.